The official unofficial diagnosis
Every family table has them. Seven questions, zero wrong answers, one slightly too-accurate result. It's all love... mostly.
You are...
Every story you tell gets 40% longer and 100% more theatrical. You don’t lose rounds — you suffer BETRAYALS. The table loves you for it, and honestly, game night would be a PowerPoint without you.
Your category is Remember — nobody retells an old family story like you do.
Built for exactly your family → meet The Family Roast 3–12 players · ages 7+ · first to 6 Brownie Points wins Or make a roast card about them →
You are...
You’ve been "getting more napkins" for three rounds. The chip bowl moves when you sit near it. You play a surprisingly strong game for someone who’s only physically present 60% of the time.
Your category is Family Fun — you’re out of your seat anyway.
Built for exactly your family → meet The Family Roast 3–12 players · ages 7+ · first to 6 Brownie Points wins Or make a roast card about them →
You are...
"I was just asking a question" — you, moments after setting the whole table on fire. You have never once started it, according to you. The family group chat has evidence, according to everyone else.
Your category is Roast — you’ve earned every card in it.
Built for exactly your family → meet The Family Roast 3–12 players · ages 7+ · first to 6 Brownie Points wins Or make a roast card about them →
You are...
You read the instructions BEFORE the game, like some kind of hero. "Actually, per the rules..." is your catchphrase, and yes, everyone has heard it. The game is fair because you are vigilant. You’re welcome.
Your category is House Rules — finally, rules with your name on them.
Built for exactly your family → meet The Family Roast 3–12 players · ages 7+ · first to 6 Brownie Points wins Or make a roast card about them →
You are...
You say six words all night and win the whole thing. While everyone else is arguing, you’re counting Brownie Points. Your family calls it luck. It is not luck. It has never been luck.
Your category is My Way or the Highway — you already know what everyone would pick.
Built for exactly your family → meet The Family Roast 3–12 players · ages 7+ · first to 6 Brownie Points wins Or make a roast card about them →
You are...
You clap for other people’s Brownie Points. You laugh at everyone’s cards, including the bad ones. You are the reason Grandma agreed to play — and the reason she’s trash-talking by round three.
Your category is Family Fun — you’re the engine the whole table runs on.
Built for exactly your family → meet The Family Roast 3–12 players · ages 7+ · first to 6 Brownie Points wins Or make a roast card about them →
